Life with Martians and Underarm Hair

Man, it seems like forever since I've been able to get my "blog fix". My laptop died close to 3 weeks ago. I got a voicemail this week from a guy at Best Buy saying, "Uh, Mr. Martian, you will need a new hard drive." I saved the message because it's not everyday that I get called Mr. Martian. He could've just called me Marvin but, Mr. Martian is fine. He obviously holds respect for extra-terrestrial life forms as well. I've been called a lot worse in my life. Anyway, I'm using Sarah's iMac. I really want to get into the whole Burkenstock, granola, Prius driving vibe of being a Mac owner but I just can't. They're so simple that they become complicated to me. I guess at heart I'm just a Wal-Mart lovin', red state livin', Prime Rib eatin', Windows XP user...and always will be. I do drive a Honda Civic, drink Soy lattes and like some girl singers that have hair in their underarms. That should count for something. I can't wait to get my laptop back with all of its laptopiness glory. Without this thing, I feel so disconnected from the world. It makes me wonder how much of my life is virtual verses real. The lines are becoming more blurred in my humble opinion. I mean, I keep in touch with most of my friends via email or I put on my voyeur hat and read their blog to find out the juicy info. in their lives. Since when did it become the norm to think we can maintain a relationship with four out of our five senses (barring those who can see dead people) being absent? At least with a hand-written letter a postage stamp was licked by a human being and probably held by a dozen or so hands. What I'm saying is that there are at least some traces of DNA on the dang thing when it arrives in my mailbox. I'm just thinking that relationships should be more than a blank canvas, a spellcheck and a left click. I realize I'm getting all "soap boxesqe" on you but, rest assured, as soon as I get my laptop back, I'll wind up forgetting all of this self-righteous ranting and will rejoin the rest of the 21st century with all my high-tech nuanced friends and smirk and sniff at all of those "face to face" talkers with their eye-to-eye contact. If only they could all be as advanced as us nuanced. I feel my inner Frasier Crane smiling.