In the spirit of...

EXPOSED! Shane Kyle and his family slept in yesterday (Sunday) instead of going to church.

Personal Responsibility

For those who've read this blog and have found it offensive, misleading in truth, reckless, and irresponsible, please know my heart and the context behind the entries. If any apologies are in order, please accept them from me. This is a personal web diary and not intended for mass consumption and I've adjusted the accessibility of this particular site. These entries are unfiltered thoughts with no other point than to document my personal feelings, reactions and ideas to the life I observe and live. If anyone desires further explanation for any content I log here, please email me and I will be more than happy to clear any contextual issues one may have. As a husband, father and minister, I want my life to be as transparent as possible and please know it's not my intent in any way to lay out a stumbling block to anyone...especially to my beloved youth kids to whom God has entrusted me. In the spirit of confidentiality, any of those who trust me with some of the deeper issues they are struggling with, they will always remain nameless. Always. My intention is not to exploit anyone but to take a given topic and make a broader more universal point only in the hopes of bringing some spiritual insight or clarity to some of the tougher issues that we all face. I still maintain that our #1 priority as Christians are to adhere to the words of Christ when He said that the two greatest commandments are to Love God and Love People. It's not a catch phrase but a lifestyle that I've yet to master. "For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment." James 2:13 In my opinion, we can be loving without affirming. "May grace, mercy, and peace, which come from God our Father and from Jesus Christ his Son, be with us who live in truth and love." 2 John 1:3 Grace be to you.

I like girl music.

O.K., during my adolescence and early 20's, anything that wasn't the heaviest of metal not only sucked but was considered girl music in my book. The Depeche Mode's and the R.E.M's of the world drove me nuts and it made me that much more vigilant in keeping my metal purity. If a band didn't have a singer that could scream at frequencies that only K-9's could appreciate, they sucked. Yes, I was a metal Puritan. This was all true until I met Sarah. I don't know how she did it, but over the past 10 years, I've completely turned my back against the allegiance I once pledged to all things spandex and Aqua Net. Sarah was the Yoko Ono to my love of metal. Little by little, she wound up slipping some great music into our CD player. Music that is great and really opened my eyes to things deeper in content than demonic warfare and hot chicks. So, it dawned on me just today that when you boil it all down...I like girl music. I couldn't give you more than 2 CD's in my collection now that would be classified as rock. Not unless you classify Sheryl Crow or Patty Griffin as rock. They rock but I never see many lighters in the air at their concerts. Lots of tatoos on girls though. That's kinda rock and roll or, something. Anyway, back to my point: The reason why I'm writing this is, I'm here at the office today and I downloaded the Keane album from a killer MP3 sight. The Keane CD is just unbelievably good. So, I'm sitting here just really getting into this CD and it dawns on me that...*gasp*...this is girl music. Now, I don't mean that as a slam against the smarter sex, I'm just saying that my musical tastes now fall more toward the estrogen charged genres of music than any of that with a testosterone bent. Let's face it, I've gotten soft in my 30's. Dude, I used to hate guys like me. Call me a wuss, but now I feel at home nowadays with all these falsetto singing English bands. Look away from me, I'm hideous! The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. O.K., I like girl music. Happy now? Maybe I need to go play poker or go deer hunting to even this one out. When I start hanging posters of Unicorns on my wall, just shoot me.

Balance and Reality

Let me tell you about my morning: It's 7:21am. I'm still in bed trying to drink a cup of motivation that Sarah has brought to me. You see, I'm not a morning person and when it comes to my cell phone, I've learned as a youth minister to keep it on vibrate in the earrrrrly a.m. hours because somehow the memo wasn't passed from our generation to the current one that if you're a teenager, you're supposed to find every way possible to sleep late! Well, I can say I've never gotten a call past 9 o'clock at night but these kids are up and rocking before the freakin'chickens. I really don't mind. Kinda. When I originally took this position as a Minister to Students, my fear was that I would get calls at all hours of the night from my youth kids asking me questions like "My mom says that baggy pants look dumb and I hate it when she says that. What should I do?" or "This guy said he liked me but I'm not sure if he means like as in like or like...um...like as in like like. Like, what do you think he means by, like...um...like?". So, back to this morning. I got a call at 7:21am. I didn't realize this until I got in the truck to take little Dave to school since my phone was on vibrate. I noticed it was one of my youth kids and so I checked my voicemail and the message was laden with sobbing and fragmented sentences and words. Although it was mostly indiscernible, it clearly communicated hurt and panic. So, once I dropped Dave off at school, I pulled to the side of the road and returned the call. His parents found out last night that he is gay. Mom is in shock and his dad called him this morning and said he couldn't love him anymore. I just let him talk as he tried to explain what was going on with his parents, all the while, he's trying to tame the involuntary broken gasps of breath that only happens when you've been crying hard...really hard. I figured he just needed to get it out. Opinions are near worthless when someone is hurting. An open ear and a shut mouth seemed like the right thing during this conversation. Once he unloaded, I told him that when one reacts emotionally, as his father was doing, we tend to say and do things we really don't mean. It's true. I can only hope that this is the case here too. For a small hick town like Pipe Creek, I've had 3 kids in our youth group "come out" to me in the past year. The oldest being 16, the youngest being 12. In all three cases, these kids come from homes where there has been abuse and/or systematic abandonment. I can't say for sure that this is related to being gay but I find this fact interesting. I could devote an entire blog to whether or not people are born gay and whether or not you can be a Christian and gay. I know what the Bible says about the issue and know as well what it says about the crap I struggle with in my personal life. There's no difference just because my brand of "sin" has a different label on it. I also know that the Bible says the two greatest commandments are for us to Love God and Love People. My belief is that my youth kids need unconditional love more than anything else from me. Love. The thing is, it's not my place to change people because if that were possible, I'd start with myself first. There seems to be a big shortage of unconditional love in this generation while the demand for it spreads daily. Love? That I can do.

Where have you Bean?

So, you think you know all things coffee? I just took this quiz and have been humbled by it. I now realize that I am not worthy to quaff from the wellspring of all magical wonder that percolateth forth from the king of all beans. Take this quiz: Coffee Quiz

2005: Down the Drain

I know it's a little late to reflect on my New Year's happenings but, if you're like me, it's only now that I feel like I can breathe again. I'm not sure if it's just a new self-imposed cultural cliche' or if it's really true but, the holiday season really does wind up kicking everyone's rear end. I mean, when you put together all of the well-meaning Christmas parties, gift shopping, In-Laws, work, traffic, money juggling, flu season, babysitting, and having to relearn all the words to "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas", any normal person, by the time Christmas day rolls around, is ready to hit the holiday "snooze" button and just stay in bed on the 25th. The only person who is somehow immune to this seasonal paradigm is our family friend, Joey. Even his name is freaking cheerful. Joey, during the Christmas season, is that loveable pup side-kick to the Grinch, Peter Pan, Rudolph-the Red Nose Reindeer, Santa's little elf, and a ginger bread cookie house all rolled into one. He manages to live out his own "Miracle on 34th Street" every year. Anyway, we made it through the holidays and had a very memorable Christmas. After everyone does the collective "sigh", now that Santa has done his thing, we've all got one more hurdle: New Year's Eve. The cap on a year spent and the awakening of a new one. Once we make the most sincere pledges to our lofty new year resolutions, we then rush back the the familiarity of our normal schedules, school, and catching up on the bills that were put on hold in the spirit of keeping Santa's good name and reputation on par. So, here we are on the 31st of Dec. I'm ready to rock! It became quickly evident that I was the only one in my circle of friends and family who was ready to rock the New Years Eve. I mean, even Dick Clark wasn't shooting a 100% this time around. Any tentative plans we had went into the toilet so, we made our own. We stayed home, and I cleaned out our shower drain. You see, for the past week we had been standing in 4 inches of water when we showered so, can you think of a better time than New Year's Eve to clean out my satanic shower drain? With an unwound coat hanger in my hand, I started pulling out the gelatinous funk from a hole that's supposed take my soapy flotsam and jetsam away, not make me pay some sort of penance for the abuse that I give to it daily. The night quickly went up in value from there. Little Dave and I built a fire in our pit in the backyard and whipped up some killer 'smores with Sarah. We talked about what we were thankful for this past year and named some ways we feel we had grown closer to God. Punky and Sarah were in bed by 11:30 and I brought in the new year on my couch with Matt Drudge on my laptop and the sounds of some teens up the street hooting and celebrating with their low budget fire works. I'd have to say it's really not a bad way to bring in a new year. Having my sweet family safely tucked into their beds and me not having to worry about giving the toilet an extended hug with one arm while reaching for the aspirin bottle with the other on new year's day sounds pretty good to me. My new year's day morning was instead met with breakfast in bed and 2 sleepy faces looking a me as I awoke. So, I rocked new year's eve, I just happened to do it very gently.